Options:
After meeting with many a people, I started to gain hope in that I still had options. I was getting encouragement from Everyone. Words of advice. Personal rejection stories. Places that were still hiring. Websites with job listings. Everything.
One person said, "It's amazing how things almost never happen the way we expect. It's assumed that just because you went to OPE and did everything right, things should work out in your favor. But that's just not always the case."
He was right. And though it may not seem uplifting, I found encouragement in those words, because I knew they were real. It was more than just, "You'll find some place!" Or, "Any school would be lucky to have you!" Though don't get me wrong, it was appreciated, but after hearing those phrases 18,000 different times, I couldn't take it anymore.
I began applying everywhere that I could, including full-time Bachelor's level jobs that weren't in Residence Life. If I didn't think I had options, I made them anyway. I wasn't going to give up until every job was closed.
Impatience:
Even though I was making options for myself, it wasn't enough. I wasn't hearing back from anyone anywhere. It was frustrating. So, I started looking at real life "big girl" jobs. Management positions for different companies. I began thinking, that maybe God's plans for me weren't Student Affairs, no matter how much I wanted them to be. Maybe I was meant to slave away behind a desk signing pay roll checks and filing employee sanctions. *shudder*
I eventually landed a couple interviews with two companies for general management positions. If I wasn't going to get an assistantship, I needed to find some ways to pay the bills, right?
At one interview I realized that I couldn't settle for a business job. I wasn't ready for that. My final interviewer asked me, "Are you ready to start your career?" My mind got hit with a semi. No. I don't want this kind of career. I'm not ready to give up. To give in. I won't be stunted by a few rejections. I can't. And I didn't. I told him straight up, that I was still looking at options in Higher Education, and my passion was there. I left that interview with a little more confidence in knowing this is what I need to do.
Redemption:
I received notice from a university that they had one position left open, and they wanted me to interview with them. Sweet! Surprisingly enough, it was one of the first schools I had applied to in the beginning of the process and even got accepted to the grad school. All I needed was the job. At OPE though, I knew I didn't fit in with the culture, but I thought, "Hey, maybe it was just a long day for everyone."
While preparing for the interview, I received word that there was a position opening at another university. Alright. Two more chances to get this right.
Let's Call This School D:
In Love with the campus, it was the most beautiful I had seen yet. Even my host said, "If Hollywood found out about this place, we would be out of business."
The master's program was exactly what I was looking for, I mean, obviously, I applied for the graduate school in December/January.
The people? Well, they weren't exactly my cup of tea, but I can get along with anyone.
The job wasn't what that I would have preferred, it was apartment living, but I knew would be able to rock it just the same.
And then I got rejected from there too.
Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. In this case, Always a candidate, never a good hire.
What's wrong with me?
It turns out, I just hadn't found the right fit yet.
Forge Ahead Tomorrow For More...
(Oy, that sounds weird. But at least it's not, "To Be Continued.")
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