Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Enraged! Just Not Me.

So today I had lunch with a coworker, who has very quickly become a dear friend of mine. We were talking about anger.

Now, there have been a lot of things I've been wanting to post about recently, but I'm drowning in readings already for classes and between that and still trying to have a social life. There's only so much I can do without never sleeping again. Hah. This is also why I haven't been posting my nails lately. Mostly because I have enough time to paint a color, and that's as far as it goes. Smh.

ANYWAY.

Let me start with my family -- my immediate family, because if I expand it'll get too complicated.

Girls, if you have a Mexican father, or even a Middle Eastern father in many cases, you have experienced fatherly rage. My dad, is one of those dad's who has quite a bit of a temper. And it's not just when it comes to his daughters, but anything else that might upset him. Also, he's very stubborn, and if things don't go his way, then get out of his way.

My mother, I would have to say that she has a short fuse. If you say or do something that will p*** her off, it's like flicking a switch. Bulging eyes, pursed lips, red face. But then you can laugh at her, and 60% of the time she'll laugh with you and she's good to go. But 40% of the time, she's on the angry bus and ain't stoppin' anytime soon.

My sister. Well, she obtained both tempers. A short fuse, stubbornness, extreme temper, and worst of all, she speaks her mind. When people ask me about my sister, I describe her as the typical teenage stereotype. But it's not just because she's a teen. She's held that persona since she was... I don't know... born?

At home, when one person becomes filled with rage, it triggers another. Then the other. Then there's a yelling fest. It's almost as if they compete to see who can be the loudest. As if that's the way to win an argument.

Then there's me... To this day, I have NOO idea how I've managed to become such a tranquil person. I don't get angry, often. It's very difficult to make me angry. If anything, I just get very annoyed. That's relatively easy, although I have a tolerance for that as well. Even my "pet peeves" don't make me angry. (Unless you're blatantly ignorant and/or do it to P me off on purpose..)

But I don't really get angry! And if/when I do, it's mostly because I'm fully frustrated. I don't really yell, or I try not to. My eyes don't budge. I don't throw things. I don't loudly express my thoughts as forcefully as possible. Usually, at that point, I've tried expressing myself calmly, and it hasn't worked, so at this point, I ball my fists. Become silent. And if I'm really upset. I'll just CRY! (what?)

No, that doesn't sound right. But, that's how it is. And as I was explaining this to my friend today, all I could think about, was how?!

How did I manage to avoid the temperamental gene?!

I don't know, but I'd like to think I'm lucky for that.

Just thought I'd let y'all know.


Thanks for reading!

Love,
Tawny

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