Planning a Wedding

And spending thousands of dollars on a 6 hour event scares the living crap out of me.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm excited and everything about getting married in the future. It's what I've wanted since like, I was 5 years old. And I've been pinning random ideas for the past couple of years on a board called, "Someday". But now, thinking about actually Buying things? Spending all of my money on this event? It's scary. It's even scarier knowing that I have champagne taste with beer pockets!

I'm getting the question,"Is there a date yet?" I wish I had an answer! No! there's no date. There's no budget. There's no solidified ideas yet even! I get asked this question, and you know what happens in my brain? Whirlwinds of information, thoughts, fears, numbers, logistics, etc. *shakes head quickly with widened eyes*

Here's why:
I went to this website, saw this buzzfeed post, and a ton more other information out there that was just... overwhelming. One blog post said something along the line of, Think of a budget. Now add $20,000 more to that. and That's how much your wedding will be. NO. Thank YOu.

I laugh every time an article says, "Traditionally the bride's family pays for this and the groom's family pays for that..." HA! Ain't no one got the funds for that. I've seen enough episodes of SYTTD to know that allowing others to pay means they have to like it. Sorry. But I ain't about that life either.

Then it's the logistics. My family is in WI. My bff is in IL. His family is in NC and FL. How is this even going to be possible? Where are we going to go? Because I sure as heck don't want a TX wedding! (No offense y'all!)

It's just all too scary to think about!

The Dress Alone is Enough to Freak Out About:
I actually tried on a few dresses one day with a couple of friends. Just for a little stress reliever... Yeah um, I put one dress on, and I felt naked. I said it was because of the dress, but I felt naked in all of them. For some reason, it just felt wrong, like I wasn't supposed to be there. I don't know why either! I love looking at them and everything, but trying things on, was a whole new experience.

A new collection came out at David's Bridal. I saw one dress and thought, I want this. My best friend said that I needed it. Desperately. I looked at the price... $1350. Not including the veil(if I choose to have one), alterations, shoes, jewelry, etc. etc. That's way more than half of what I would want to spend on a dress. If my dream dress is going to cost me that much, how much am I going to pay for a classy-ass wedding? I ain't doin' no outdoor barn wedding with mason car candles. I mean, it's cute and all, but I am not a country girl. And neither is Chris. Which is great and all, but that means we have more expensive taste now.

I Just Don't Wanna:
Every time I look at a magazine/website/blog post/Pinterest item now. I start mentally hyperventilating and tell Chris, "You plan this thing. I don't wanna do it anymore." Is that bad? Are my feelings to blame? Am I being over-dramatic? I don't know. This is Not like planning a residence hall program. I don't have the qualifications for this. hahah

Just know this. Right now, I have no answers. On anything. And I don't know if I'm ready to find those answers.

Thanks for reading,
<3 Tawny