The Fun My Last Name Comes With

So, all of my life, people see my last name, and assume that I speak Spanish. Why? Because my name is Martinez?! I don't see the names O'Brian or Russo and assume you speak Irish or Italian, respectively. No!

Anyway, I want to share some recent correspondence I had with a company via my school email.

I received an email Sunday night, from one person, from one company. I will leave out the name of everything so as to avoid any future issues on my end. And, also to keep their pride up a bit.

-First Item-

Subject: Immediate Need for Spanish Interpreter
Date: Sunday, May 19, 2013 5:13 PM
Text: Hello, 

I found your contact on the University’s directory.  We are currently looking for fluent, preferably native, Spanish speakers for freelance interpretation jobs with healthcare organizations in the surrounding [CITY] suburban area.  Job pays $25/hr and .25/mile. 

I have an immediate need for an interpreter on:

5/21/13 at 830AM 5/23/13 at 8AM
5/28/13 at 330PM
5/30/13 at 445PM

All in [CITY]. 

No experience necessary.  Healthcare background helpful but not required.  Must have reliable transportation.   

Excellent part-time work while studying.  If interested, please contact me ASAP for more details.

If you are not available or if this message is not applicable, your referral would be very helpful and very much appreciated.

Thanks,

(Here's where I get irritated, so I replied to the message in the most kind and professional way I could muster.)

-Second Item-(My reply)

Text: Hello,

I apologize, but I do not speak any Spanish and I do not know of anyone in the area who would I could refer to you. My university has a website called HawkJobs where employers can post jobs for seeking students. There, you can also check resumes and contact students who have the qualifications that you are looking for.
Thank you,
Tawny

-Third Item-

Subject: Spanish needed for medical interpretation job on 5/28/13, at 8:15AM
Date: Monday, May 20, 2013 3:37 PM

Text: Hi,

I found your contact off the University’s website. We are a language company and we are currently in need of a Spanish interpreter for 5/28/13 @8:15am in [CITY]. Job pays $25/hr and .25/mile. No experience necessary, just needs to be native or near native Spanish speaker and fluent in English. Medical background helpful.

Please let me know if you can help or can refer someone.

Thanks

(Now I'm upset)

-Fourth Item-(My reply)

Text: Hello,

I have already received an email from one of your colleagues and I have supplied my answer. My response to a second email from your organization shows a lack of organization and communication. I apologize, but I do not speak any Spanish and I do not know of anyone in the area who I could refer to you. Also, I don't think I would refer someone on the manner that business is conducted at [COMPANY]. I find it somewhat offensive that I am receiving this email once, let alone twice, because I am sure you saw my last name and noticed a Hispanic background. Yes, this is true, but neither myself nor my family speaks Spanish. 

For your benefit, I have provided some information that you and your organization can look into and use for the future.

My university has a website called HawkJobs where employers can post jobs for seeking students. There, you can also check resumes and contact students who have the qualifications that you are looking for.

Thank you,

Tawny


What do you think about all of this? Am I being too harsh, or am I responding in the correct manner? In my opinion, receiving these emails is worse than getting Spanish telemarketer phone calls. Does anyone else ever have this problem?

Either way, though I'd share this with ya.

'Til next time,
<3 Tawny

"How Does It Feel?!"

Not to appear ungrateful of everyone wishing me best wishes on my graduation, but ya gotta be more creative with your questioning. I get the same questions about my life daily from tons of people, and though it may be new information for you, you have to understand that I feel like a wind-up Barbie doll from the 90s.

---Every Conversation---

Person: Congrats! (pull string on Tawny Doll)
Tawny Doll: Thank you.
Person: How does it feel to be an alumni?! (Pull string)
TD: Like I'm an adult and I graduated.
Person: Oh yeah, you must not feel very different right now, huh? (Pull string)
TD: Not really
Person: I bet you're pretty relieved though, huh? (Pull string)
TD: Pretty much.
Person: So, when do you start working? Where? (Pull string)
TD: I don't know, because I don't have a job right now.
Person: I thought you had that interview in IL? (Pull string)
TD: I did, but I didn't like it.
Person: Oh that's right! Weren't you looking at some school or job or something somewhere? (Pull string)
TD: Yes, I was, but it didn't go as planned. So I'm still looking.
Person: Oh that's nice! So, are you just staying at home for now? (Pull string)
TD: Yupp.

---End Conversation---

Is anyone else going through Groundhog Day convos about this? If you haven't, you have to imagine how crazy and repetitive it must get.

This is why, when people break up, I don't ask, "What happened?"
When people get engaged, I don't ask, "How'd he pop the question?" (Although I did once and I hated myself for it)
When people have an exam, I don't ask if they're ready for it, or how they think it went afterwards. Mostly, because I know how anxious these questions make me when I get asked.

I'm not saying you should ask, or you shouldn't care, or like I said before, that I am ungrateful for your care and concern, but uh, tone the questioning down a bit. It's okay. Answers will come eventually, just sit back, watch the movie, and eat your popcorn.

Talk to ya'll later,
<3 Tawny

I am a Bit of a Grammar Snob. Deal

It's understandable if you don't understand math or science. It's understandable if history facts get jumbled in your mind. It's okay that you can't remember the difference between a metaphor and a simile.

What's not okay is that simple grammar, lessons that have been drilled into our heads since we started school, are easily forgotten because it's, "too hard." :(

Human please! It's not hard, you're just being ignorant. Stop that!

Slap yourself on the hand for me.

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
Jess: Hey Jon, how are you?
Jon: I'm doing well; much better than yesterday. How about yourself?
Jess: Quite well. I was wondering, is this sweater yours? It was left in my living room last night.
Jon: No, it isn't mine. Maybe it's Tom's sweater.
Jess: I didn't think Tom brought a sweater.
Jon: You're crazy, Jess. That sweater must be your brother's then.
Jess: I really don't think so.
Jon: If it's not yours or your brother's, then it has to be Mick or Stan's.
Jess: Maybe you're right. I'll have to ask them if it's a sweater of theirs.
Jon: Good idea. Ask them, and I'll see you over there soon.
Jess: Oh! They're over there too! Let's just walk together!
Jon: That is just too funny! Well, I guess it's time to make our move.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~

Wow, that was a really boring conversation that I made up. But I hope that it gets my point across.

It's so easy to remember these rules. I don't understand why no one can get it right, ever.

If you seriously need help. Think about it this way. In order to ease your heavy brains that are filled with so much other muy importante information, learn one rule per word-set, and then think to yourself, am I using this word correctly?

You're = You are: If you are not saying "you are," then don't use you're.
There = A location: If you are not talking about where something is, re-evaluate
Too = Also: If you are not including something into the convo, then just use to.
Than = Comparison: Ex: I am better than you.

As for the rest, figure it out. Otherwise, don't use contractions and what not. The English language has 1,019,729 words for you to choose from. I'm pretty sure that you have options.

It's not that difficult. We've been learning about it since kindergarten. I don't care if you can't remember Pythagorean's Theorem. I don't care if you can't remember the date the Magna Carta was signed. But simple grammar? People who have learned English as a fourth language know it better than you.

You should be ashamed!

That is all, for now.

<3 Tawny